March 1, 2011 A New Beginning

I am feeling so much clarity lately about a lot of things . It took a lot of confusion, overwhelment, and hope to get to this point. I feel like my life is coming into balance and I see now that Son-Rise is truly the answer for us. I think I tried to take an overloaded approach and incorporate a little of everything, but that has not worked for us. It is time to pick one thing or maybe a few and do them well. Son-Rise is my one. I have been reviewing all my notes, and the webinars that the Autism Treatment Center of Amercia has on their website and I am seeing the whole picture of where this really can take us. I am excited! Son-Rise is about complete love and acceptance. You play up the desired behavior and because you are in a safe playroom, there is practically no such thing as unwanted behavior. Children will use this as we all know to get our attention. Negative, positive, it is all the same. Imagine immersing the child in an environmet where he or she gets one-to-one attention designed to show love, excitement and enthusiasm for as many hours as possible every day. They feel safe and ready to then come into our worlds. In typical life, they do not fit in and it shows at every turn. Liam for example from the moment he wakes up has no’s shouted at him, when he tries to get food he can’t have, when he tries to run away when we are pressured to get him dressed quickly to be on time for school, when he runs out the door into the street instead of getting in the car, when he tries to throw dirt in the car (oh how Daddy loves that!), when he unbuckles his seatbelt on the ride or throws objects out the window, when he tries to turn off the lights in the shcool office as we enter, or open every door along the way to class. I get to class and hand him over where I am sure this kind of stuff cotinues all day long, no running, no hitting, no spitting, no climbing, no food, no putting your head in the toilet etc. I realized today that although his classroom and teachers are the best I have encountered  thus far, Son-Rise at this point in his life would simply be a better option.  Nurturing a child out of autism will make him more ready for academics which can be learned at any age. I think I have to let go of the pressure to have him on target academically and find my way in to my little boy’s world  from a place of wonder and genuine desire to be in each and every moment with him. You can try to stop a child from displaying all the symptoms and behaviors that result from autism, but it doesn’t make the child  not autistic. You have to reach into their hearts on a soul level and be worthy of having them follow you out. If you are unhappy, they feel more inclined to stay in their own happy world. Why would they want to come out to one riddled with stress and frustration, or perhaps even worse. I feel like I am finally getting it! Today at school I picked him up and I could tell it had been a rough day, when they try to barricade the door with a sign. I enter and they are so ready today to hand him over, and I honestly don’t blame them one bit! Their his aid stood with goggles on to protect her from flying saliva handing him to me hurridly like she couldn’t bear it any longer. I know, I have been there. Don’t get me wrong, they are the most loving, compassionate teachers and aids I have known so far. I feel his teacher already possesses some of Son-Rise philosopies without having an awareness of it. You can see passion in her eyes and a genuine love of her students and what she does. So that is why until now I have been comfortable with leaving him there. However, that moment staring into the aid’s goggled eyes was a light-bulb moment for me. I can do better for him by putting him in an environment that  only says yes and there is no motivation to have ‘bad’ behaviors to get attention.  After some time in this environment, they flourish and become ready to come out into the world.  He is a handful. I have struggled to exhuastion with his behaviors. I have cried, raged, sulked and pulled myself out everytime always coming back to knowing that this child is a gift. It is now time to begin a journey where I dare to hope, it doesn’t ever hurt to hope.  I beleive there will be nothing less than Liam graduating college one day. I am ready to begin healing my child, I am already healing myself…….

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